The Epiphany, Part 1.

The week leading up to Friday, Feb 14th, 2020, was a long, dark, and stormy week.

So long in fact, that minutes turned into hours; hours turned into days; days turned straight in to months; and months suddenly turned in to that week being exactly 180.89 days long.

No? Not how time works?

I must have missed that day in biology class…

Where was I? Oh yes…the longest week in the history of longest weeks.

It was one of those weeks when I somehow planned ALL the doctor appointments and ALL the things months prior, to just coincidentally happen in one single 5 day stretch.

I dont know how it happened.

Someone should tell our planner they need to get their act together!

But shhhhhh. Dont tell anyone I am our planner………

I could go in to the details of which day had which appointment(s) and then go on and on about how my mental body now has 16pack abs because of all the mental gymnastics I had to do to make the entire logistics of the week work.

But, I wont bore you with the details.

However, I will say, that Sunday night, at dinner, as we were discussing the upcoming week with eachother, as we do at every Sunday family dinner, so we can you know……coordinate…..(we have 8 people living here. Our planner as least has something figured out)

Anyways, at the calm before the storm, aka Family Dinnet Sunday, I suddenly and jarringly realized everything that was happening this week and silently had an “oh shit. Can I buy a clone of me at Walmart at this hour?” Moment.

Quickly followed up the curiosity of if I buy 2 clones, could I get a BOGO free discount? Maybe in that case….I could buy 4 more me!!!!!!

Oh wouldn’t that just be lovely. 4 more of me….exactly. like. Me.

Woah! Got sidetracked there for a second.

So. Monday started. Just as rudely as any other workday…..blaring alarm that I snooze about 600 times even though I set the snooze to go off every minute so therefore I wont actually get any more useful sleep no matter how hard I try to convince myself.

I have a problem…..is there such a thing as Snooze Alarm Anonymous? Snooze Addicts? Addicted to the Snooze group therapy?

Wow. Those sidetracks.

Moving on.

Monday began. I was feeling really good. I was working hard on my internal bullshit that was I was letting hold me back. So this week, while the to do list seemingly kept going and going and going and…. I was bound and determined to reach the end, aka, Valentines day, with an extra hitch in my giddyup.

Oh….how I love Monday mornings that havent yet broken you. Ignorance truly is bliss.

So let me set the stage for the pivotal Monday that will forever be cemented in my brain as the moment that changed my future.

I wake up at 424AM after snoozing my alarm 302 times, and end up rushing out the door. As is my normal, every day, morning routine.

I am going to speed up just a tad. Work was insane. Have to now figure out how to work OT. Which for me means I can only work before work. So if you can do math….I missed this day as well, but I think that means I need to now wake up at 3am every single day of this already over scheduled week.

Because why not!

I get off work at 215pm (I work an extra 45 minutes on Mondays and Tuesdays so I can leave early Wednesdays to take E to therapy). And have to rush straight to my annual physical exam that I scheduled months ago.

In the meantime, E’s Occupational Therapist (that she sees 1x a month) was wondering if we could come in early.

“Let me check. Wait. I have an appt. We will be there as soon as I get down with my appt”

My appt ends much earlier than expected.

Phew. I needed some extra minutes.

I ran home. Told E that we were going to OT earlier than usual (out of her routine), and hoped that it wouldn’t throw her.

Hoping she understood that I didnt schedule any extra storms this week.

OT? Check!

I called daddy and let him know we were on our way home.

I turned left out of the parking lot. Got to the end of the long line of cars and realized that we are here earlier than usually which means it is Hell Hour, er rather Rush Hour.

I should have taken a right. I know better.

But do I really know better? I mean….this happens EVERY single time. I say “eh, the traffic wont be bad”.

And every. Single. Time, I prove myself wrong.

Ugh! Did I just get sidetracked again?

Sorry (notsorry)!

Roughly 30 minutes after calling Daddy, we finally arrived.

Mmmmmm DINNERTIME!!!!!!

For the first time since stupid o’clock in the morning, I got to actually sit down, and relax.

And that is where I went wrong.

I talked myself in to thinking I could relax. Heh, how naive I was! Boy was I young and dumb nearly 252 days ago.

No? Just 14 days ago? Fake news!

Fine. You are correct. I am still young, dumb, and naive….

Heh

Ok, I think I need to attach myself to this train so I can stay on track!

I need paracord and 2 carabiners STAT!

Dinner was over. Dirty dishes in the sink. Fed the dogs. Ran the dogs. Had the girls come help their Auntie decorate their grandmommy’s birthday cake (different story).

One more thing to complete tonight and then

Wait…..I mixed up some details. Shoot! That’s what you get when the most climatic part in the story happened 1 year and 2 days ago.

Beep beep beep beep….get outta the way! I’m backing up.

Ok so, we get home OT, and I have one more thing I absolutely need to get done. And that is…cook my breakfasts that I make for the week.

Wait. Something doesnt seem right. I dont remember what came first, dinner or breakfast. Breakfast and then dinner? But then cake was also in the mix…..

SCRRRREEEEEEECCCCCCHHHHHHH

At some point we ate dinner and at some point, I had to make my breakfasts.

The order doesnt really matter to this climatic moment.

Can we all just agree to disagree and move on? Yes Becky!! We are moving. On!

I started cooking my breakfasts. Which entails cutting up a few sweet potatoes and cooking onions and sausage and spices. Mmmmmm. My favorite breakfast in the entire world.

I am about 3 minutes in. And I start talking to my husband.

We were talking about the evening when he asked me if I could go pick up the cat food tonight when I went to go get B.

“No.”

Ahhhhhh so I did get straight to cooking my breakfasts first. Dinner hadnt been served yet. No wait. Ugh.

And that is the moment that my husband, who probably now, 423 days after-the-fact, would like to jam back down his throat.

Oooooo wait…..cake wasnt until 1 week AFTER this specific Monday. NOT the same day.

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Ahahahahahahha

Which means dinner hadnt happened in this scene yet.

Ok so….he asks me why or something else stupid as to why I cant get it tonight because the cats are hungry.

“I can pick it up tomorrow after work. I have time tomorrow. I do not have time tonight.”

Um hello….did he not realize that I literally had only been home for less than 3.2 minutes at that point???

And that I was already starting another task I absolutely had to get done.

He said something else. I dont remember his words. Those weren’t the important words. Clearly. I just remember him making some sort of noise with his mouth.

“No. I cannot”

I physically and mentally had to draw the line.

Besides…..getting cat food is his chore.

And it is in this next moment, that my husband momentarily forgot the saying….if you have nothing nice to say, DONT. SAY. ANYTHING. AT. ALL.

He said “you are…..”

Oh hey…its 809pm. Time for bed! I will have to finish this story tomorrow.

And yes it really is 809.

I am just writing this and scheduling it to be released later. Which I just figured out I could do and it is going to make my whole life a lot easier. So many things to write about. But I dont want to bombard you all day after day…..just kidding. No one reads this but me while editing it.

Goodnight all! Loves hugs and kisses!

One thought on “The Epiphany, Part 1.

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