If you remember from my last post, I figured out what the first rest stop was on my path to learning how to love myself.
I needed to focus on remembering why I fell in love with my husband nearly 13 years ago. I needed to figure out how to reconnect with him. On an intimate level.
You see. We are a great team. We are best friends. We can fight hard and stand strong together. We solve most problems better…together.
We laugh. We cry. We laugh until we cry. He pops out at me and I clumsily ninja swat at the air near his vicinity as he instinctly bounces backwards.
I break it. He fixes it. I have another brilliant idea. He signs. I flash my puppy eyes with a side of passive aggressive guilt trip. He reluctantly successfully transforms my ideas into tangible reality.
We bicker. We disagree. We fight. We give great guilt trips. But we always love eachother. We always take responsibility for our actions. We always forgive. And we always grow stronger. Together.
He makes me laugh. At his silly antics. His stubborn facial expressions in every picture, ever. He brings me back down to earth when my emotional roller coaster starts veering off course. He works hard so our family can continue to make memories.
He makes me want to be better.
But all of the above, I lost sight of. I forgot. We went thru a lot of hell. Our life still has hellish moments.
We never forgot how to exist with eachother. But we did put our relationship on hold.
That is, until now.
How can I love myself when I can barely love my partner in crime?
This may seem like a backwards idea. But on my self love journey, this is where my first rest stop is. At least this where my soul told me I needed to focus first. And only then, would my next stop reveal itself.
You see, I love my husband more than life itself. He is my anchor in any storm. But something deep down inside happened. I stopped loving myself. And I stopped loving my husband. I took him for granted. I stopped finding the passion inside that I once had for my husband.
Now do not get me wrong. He is my other half. But I have been feeling guilty for years that this goofy, smart ass, loyal, partner in crime man, became a roommate with benefits that just so happens to also be my soulmate.
I am happy to announce that I have remembered why exactly, my husband and I are an amazing team together.
So what is the answer to why I love my husband?
Because he is him. And that is who I fell madly in love with on December 9th, 2005. The day we created our first memory together that still makes us laugh until we cry.
