Just had my first anxiety/panic attack? Not sure. But my light was green. The turn lane was red and I couldn’t see pass the car. I entered the intersection, saw a car not stopping, I slam on my breaks. They were turning in the turn lane so they didn’t need to stop. But I couldn’t breath and started crying. But that made me reflect on this year…..
This is a long doozy….
Jan: this is my year!!!! I can feel it!!!
Feb-april: ahhhhhhh nice and boring, regular, not too hectic
May: yes!!! Outdoor area under construction, spending time with the family. Loving life.
End of May: why, dear therapist, is our daughter having so many issues??
June: so many bbqs and outdoor fires this summer!
June v2: she has a bully
June v3: the kids really can’t do gluten
July: life is amazing. Life is awesome. Could never be happier
July v2: why the constant cramping and feeling like I’m having contractions??? Why all the pain. Damn sideways and halfway out IUD
Aug: sooooo hot! So much fun camping. Love my family
Aug 2.0: why does my hand hurt so effing bad?!?!?
Sept: 1st grade and last year or prek. So many emotions. Last summer camping trip. Pure awesomeness
Oct: I have to see a hand specialist?? I have to get a cortisone shot?? Ahhhhhhh relief. Finally.
Oct v2: Bai is a gold medalist!!
Oct v3: 4 visits to, and 3 calls home from, the principle….ughhhhhhh
Nov: physical therapy…..yay…
3rd week of Nov: the boy gets sick at Pow wow..yuck
4th week of Nov: I get pneumonia and am basically dead for 10 days.
1st week of Dec: the boy gets pneumonia
2nd week of Dec: the boy is getting worse. Deep depression settles in
3rd week of Dec: I get cleared from my hand specialist/physical therapist yayayaya.
4th week of Dec: the boy and I get tboned. He can’t sleep without waking in a panic and I can go through an intersection without holding my breath.
Not sure if I would rather feel like the edge of death from pneumonia or constantly on the verge of tears from the pain from the accident…..choices