I Time Traveled.

Today has been….a day. But talking about work is not as awesome as this afternoon after work.

9:02pm: Husband Text: Got my RC Car.

9:46am: Wife (me) Text, knowing how excited he has been to get this: Lol

12:13pm: Wife (me) Text, knowing what happens with his current one: That’s a pretty good dog toy.

12:26pm: Ate an edible (me)

12:28pm: Husband Text: Not for dog lol

12:28pm: Wife (me) Text: Might want to have a sit down talk with Luna then

12:28pm: Wife (me) Text: Lol

12:28pm: Wife (me) Text: Omg. Lol

12:29pm: Wife (me) Text: I crack myself up

12:42pm: Husband Text: Lol I just won’t use it with her around

12:43pm: Wife (me) Text: I need you to take me to freddies tonight.

12:43pm: Wife (me) Text: My last journal is almost full and I need a new one. So either freddies or office depot.

12:44pm: Wife (me) Texted, impatiently waiting for him to ask why he needed to take me: I ate an edible and am almost higher than the sky.

—put phone down to get to her mile high sky list.

12:46pm: why is there an annoying calendar notification on my phone? I am free till daddy gets home…..

12:46:03pm: Ooooooooooooh shyte….VIP IEP Meeting!!!! That I have rescheduled 16 times since Oct and made a mental note of 400 times today alone.

Shyte.

12:46:04pm: WHERE IS THE ZOOM LINK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Ahhhhhhh noo of course this happens to me.

12:46:05pm: Oh duh. Right in front of me on this notification. Get it together Kelly Marie.

12:47-12:48pm: connect on zoom, unmuted, laughed so hard I drooled and proved laughing is contagious

12:49pm-1:28pm: Lots words and ideas and theories and smart stuff exchanges and hilarious stories bc life, 2020, amirite? This isn’t going so bad. She has NO clue I am stoned right now. NONE. Zero. Zilch. Cool os an ostrich.

1:28:56pm: ……………………………………. I forgot the wood. Heh wood…..Damnit 7th grade biology class environment.

1:29-1:51pm: did any of those words together make 1 real world word? Please be over soon. She totally cant tell my hands are trying to make my sweater hood string thingambobs totally even like Monk would fixate on. Totally…..cant….right?! My eyes are focused on her. I mean my ears are at a crossroads with the future version of a flashing 4 way stops – but with emojis. Ya know.

IEP meeting in 1 ear; the sound my leg hairs make when the fan is blasting on them in a 2nd ear; I have no clue but something happened in the 3rd ear; and the 4th ear is in the background wishing their mouth would grow a set and scream “FOCUS” but not directed at the IEP human on the other side of my screen because she is doing a FANTASTIC job keeping us both afloat in this conversation.

No! Not afloat. I was flying. She was the sandbags holding my hot air on the ground.

Whether she figured it out or not.

1:53pm: How many goodbyes/farewells/adios is appropriate for a 1:1 zoom meeting? Like 7? each? or….

1:54pm: Finally. KIDSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! GRAB YOUR SHOES. GET YOUR COATS. I am going to walk for 2 (which ended up being 4 bc the full yard is insanely muddy and so I had to do 2 of each 1/2 lap so yeah. 4. Anyways) You can walk with me or ride your bike until I am done walking.

And damnit that was the proudest (4) 0.5 laps I have ever walked.

Holy shit? That was only 405 words? woah. That flew by. Or maybe time speed up? Or time slowed down? I don’t get that type of time traveling. Just send me forward or backward. I don’t want to understand the logical reasoning and science behind it bc ow brain hurt waaaaa

2:53pm: hmmmm 1238 – IEP human sent an email to see if I had blown her off….lol

3:01pm: 650 words? Woah. dangit. Do the kids really need to learn how to make knots? Fine….On the other hand, this might be the perfect moment to teach them the square knot.

Byeeee

3:18pm: Thing 2 ditched quick and Thing 1 really didn’t want to but it didn’t click with me why until I remembered something from the meeting that clearly shone bright as I was flying high and away to another atmopshere.

“Hey hey hey. its ok not to get this perfect on the first shot. In fact – I promise you won’t be perfect, or to your standards on first attemp. I am a perfectionist too and its ok to give ourselves the safe space to fail but never give up. Its going to be hard. I can see that this is hard. But we will take it one step at a time,” I legit said those words. I am honestly not adding fancy words to make myself seem awesome. Because I AM awesome. I AM an amazing mom.

That seemed to actually ease her a bit. But after watching her be late to the struggle bus waiting to take her to screentime on all the backroads spitting gravel at me as she elopes – it all made sense.

Why have I never noticed this about her?? Where has this idea been since I became her mother? Everything make sense now. This is going to revolutionize our entire relationship and this may just have been THE final missing puzzle piece in being able to connect with my 11 year old on a sincere level we havent visited in a LONG time.

She struggles with the 3D. But thrives with the 2D.

Mind. Blown.

So I made one small fix, well 2, put together, so 1 whole solution because math and fractions.

“Put the paracord flat on your lap. Good. Now move each paracord string to match the picture on the computer. Pick your hands up at each step, study to make sure they match, rewind/undo, do it again. Same step(s). again. again.”

Woah. What edible DID I eat?