Look Well o’ Wolves. Look well….
I had to take a step back from scouts for a little bit.
When we first started the Stay-at-home orders, I went full speed ahead.
I made plans and wrote schedules and brainstormed and had a thousand and 2 ideas floating around my noggin endlessly for the first couple weeks.
And then the reality of what was happening….stopped being all fun and games.
But after friviously thinking our world would return to normal April 1st, the realness of what was actually happening…..settled in for the long haul.
Distance learning. Working from home. Parenting. Housekeeping. Teacher. Individual. Peacekeeper. Family manager.
Scheduler and planner and employee and employer (of 2 little kids and a manny…).
The fear. The anxiety. The unknown.
My life was unraveling.
You may notice that in the midst of all…..that ^….I did not mention scouts. Like, at all.
My bandwidth was quickly being maxed out. All my spoons were dirty and a child who shall not be named (…E…) forgot to do her dishwashing chore….
And then, tragedy struck. Unexpected, sudden, raw, painful – agonizingly painful – heartache.
My best friend passed away. The reason why is not important. Knowing it will not bring her back.
She was my hero. My role model. My partner in adventure. My…soul friend.
I am still in disbelief that my phone will no vibrate off the counter as her 10th text in under 82 seconds arrives.
Every moment – my soul presently feels like it is bursting in to 300 pieces instead of the 1000 a week ago.
She taught me lessons I didnt know I needed, at the exact moment I needed them.
3 weeks ago, I was angry and bitter. I wasnt ready for this stupid lesson she had in mind.
But this weekend, as I was looking for something completely different, I found my Timberwolf Handbook.
I paused for a moment. I un-strapped the journal, and I immediately went to page 6. The first story. The first step to become an invested Timberwolf.
What is the meaning of being in a pack?
Being part of a pack, being Akela or a Timberwolf, is about being there for one another. Building community. Learning and growing – both individually, and as a team – a pack.
I have read this story umpteen times x 2.
But this reading, was different.
Ah….so that’s the lesson…
The lesson I didnt know I needed, right when I need it.
We may have to be physically distanced from one another. Some of us havent seen another person outside our living space, for 66 days.
Our sense of reality and normalcy, has been flipped on its side, strapped in to a roller coaster composed of used toilet paper tubes and empty Amazon boxes, shot forward by a rubber band, ricocheting to the far left off the back stop, spinning like the perfect Hail Mary football throw, and coming to a slow and gentle stop……….
Heh. Who am I kidding. Our lives have forever been altered by the history we are living thru every day right now.
The impacts of this will reverberate for a long time to come. Most of them, largely unknown.
But the one thing I know I can count on, are the people in my life. Losing my best friend, has made me realize that I need to be more active in letting the people who have made an impact on my life – no matter the size – know that I appreciate them.
And with that, came the realization that Scouts is my home.
Scouts is my community. My family.
Scouts is my pack.
So re-reading this passage, I realized that scouting right now, being a social species right now, looks and feels nothing like what it used to.
And that is OK. It is ok to feel sadness and grieve what we once knew.
I dont know about you, but I have felt pretty disconnected from my Pack.
But then I realized, that we are making brand new connections. The entire world, has become connected from this shared experience.
The meaning, the value, the importance of being part of a Pack, has never been more crucial, more significant, than this moment.
What does being apart of a Pack mean to you?
Leave a Reply