Finding Anchors in the Storm

People write bucket lists for items they want to accomplish before they die. But I want a living list. A list of items that I want to experience while I am alive, without the end being death.So what is on my living list?

• There is a road that goes from Newport, OR to Maine, in like 51 hours, crossing 12 states AND Canada – I want to experience this with the kids
• I want to see, and photograph, the Northern Lights
• I want to see the Sun set from the top of Mt Hood on New Years Eve, and the Sunrise on New Years Day.
• I want to go on a Ghost Adventure. I want to ask the spirits questions. I want to experience the unknown, see the un-seeable.
• I want to enter a national photography exhibit – not for the goal to win any awards, but to experience the feeling that my work is good enough.
• Lose 150lbs
• Sky dive
• Jump off a bridge
• Hike part of PCT
• Visit all waterfalls in the PNW
• Hike part, or all, of the Pacific Coast Trail the summer I turn 40
• Live in Alaska for 1 year, as close to living off the grid as possible. Rent out our houses and we all go up after the kids get older.
• I want to learn how to surf, on the Oregon Coast
• I want to stay, overnight, at a haunted location
• RV demolition derby

I last worked on this post nearly 2 years ago.

I completely forgot about this post.

I completely lost sight of what my soul needed.

And when I wrote this post, I remember telling myself that this post was NOT ready to be published.

That my story was NOT yet ready to be published.

That there was more I needed to do, learn, understand before I could fully grasp the meaning of this idea I call the Living List.

This is NOT the first time my soul knew something else needed to be shared than what was swirling in my head.

This is NOT the first time that I set out to write about one story, when it completely changed from the beginning to the end.

Often times, the story I finish with, is the story my soul needed to write.

Not the one my brain tries to coax me in to sharing.

I learned what it meant 2 years ago, that the universe will provide me what I need, at the exact moment I did not know I needed it.

But only if I am ready and open to receiving what the universe wants to provide.

I forgot that for 2 years.

I put up paper thin concrete walls instead. I unplugged the power and began surviving.

But it was 2 years of living moments I needed to live, surviving pain I needed to feel.

Because without experiencing true sadness, pain, extreme happiness, amazement, and strength – this post would still be a draft.

A draft left undone, until this exact moment.

Because this moment, is the moment my brain and my soul – meet.

Because this moment, is the moment my brain and my soul – combine their memories.

Because this moment, is the moment, my brain and my soul – unearth the past, embrace the present, and write the future.

Because this moment, is the moment my brain and my soul – become one.

• I want to write a book
• I want to take my girls snowboarding
• I want to showcase my photographs – somehow, someway
• I want to ride the Harry Potter rides at Universal Studios, and wear a bikini to a water park.
• I want to inspire one person, and watch them pay it forward
• I want to build a Dog Scooter and fly as my dogs run
• I want to go to Alaska, and watch the Iditarod. I want to fly in the sky above, watching the majestic athletes compete in the Last Great Race, ending my days sleep under the stars as the Aurora Borealis dances above us.
• In 8 years, I want to travel to the North Pole, ride (or drive) a dog sled, Venus crossing thru Pleiades.

• I want to watch my girls grow up, continuing to be strong, independent, fierce, brave, and courageous, striving to help others at all times.
• I want to laugh until the sun rises, cry until the moon goes to sleep, smile as the sun pirouette’s across the horizon, love as the world passes us by.
• I want to listen to people everywhere I go. I want to hear stories. I want to share stories.
• I want to help my girls find adventure in everything they see, touch, feel, hear, taste, smell.

And that, is my living list.

The list full memories, will be my way to share hope and positivity and love and light – sharing with all of those I come across in my adventures.

A list full of memories that I will be able to relive, and build upon.

I do NOT believe in coincidences.

But I DO believe I am ready for whatever the universe knows I need to learn, experience, understand.

I don’t know how ANY of these are going to happen.

But I do know that my brain and soul together, already have it figured out.

Because this moment, is the moment that will be my anchor for the future.