Hi! I’m still alive.
I hibernated. For an entire week. Thank you PMS. I didnt feel any guilt. I was too lazy to have feelings of guilt.
And then I realized I needed to focus my attention on my house. Because believe it or not….I dont actually live in the woods. I actually live in a house.
With real laundry. And real dishes. And real housework that must also be done.
So I am in the process of re-prioritizing every thing so I can get everything done. Including my 55 mile hike.
With that being said, I am still making progress!!!
I had a different post planned for today. I have had about 2 thousand and 92 different topics beg to be written about.
But my plans were amended today. And honestly, I am still cracking up. That this is my life.
Because of course. This is how my life happens.
So I am copying what I wrote on my facebook (and including a picture I didnt post on FB) as well as including some extra thoughts on the subject of ticks after that.
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“I woke up realizing that this is going to be the longest week ever.
I have something already scheduled every. Single. Day. This week.
But you know what wasnt planned? Me leaving work early to pick up E because she was having a serious case of the Mondays.
And about 3 minutes after arriving home, I scratched what I thought was my scar from my gallbladder surgery. But it felt weird.
Super weird.
And that is when I saw the cute little tick hanging its butt out of my stomach. All rational thought left the building. So I just yanked it out. Or at least attempted to….I only removed part.
Whoops.
Thankfully I have a bestie named A and she rescued me. She dug the rest out. You should all have a friend like A.
So then E and I went on an adventure hunting down the only tick removal tool in our area (probably not, but it seemed like it).
Because you know what else wasnt on my plan this week? Checking 2 dogs for ticks.
Bahahahahah story of my life. At least the last store we went to finally had the maps in stock I have been looking for.
P.s. this was my first tick encounter. Bu next time, I will make sure to carefully remove it to show my scouts bahahahahaha
#RealLife #NeverADullMoment #SuperSteeleFamilyAdventures”
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So yes. I had my first encounter with a tick.
Not bigfoot. Not the yeti. Not a bear.
But a tiny little tick.
And I lost all rational and coherent thought. I did a little bit of freezing. A lotta bit of panicking. I threw in a few “what the fucks”.
I have only heard of ticks. I have never experienced a tick. I honestly only kinda sorta knew what they look like…..in pictures.
And now there is one with its head jammed in to my stomach?!?@?!?! Like, I can see this shit. It’s not microscopic. What the actual fuck is hanging out of my stomach.
Oh shit. E is outside. Remain calm. Dont let her know anything is wrong.
Just let it go.
Wait. Its just a bug that has attached itself to me. I can pull it out. No biggie. Its just a bug. Nothing is wrong.
Right? Just yank it out.
Oh fuck.
I got half the body. That’s not good right?
The only thing I can think of at this point is that media tells me I am going to be infected with Lyme Disease and my life is going to be miserable.
Damnit. Why did I pull it like that?
I just reacted! That’s why. Not smart.
I have heard and read many stories about ticks and what to do…and not to do.
I think I just became a prime example of what not to do. Now the head is going to get sucked in to my body.
Wait. A tick remover!
Oh fuck. I was going to buy one on Wednesday.
Am I going to die? I am definitely not prepared.
And this is probably the exact-ish moment that I dialed my bestie A. She is a crazy ass scout. She is my mentor. Well her and R. I always know I can count on them.
But R is probably at work and A lives like 5 minutes away.
So I call her. I never call her. I hope she realizes that this is an emergency if I am calling. Maybe I should have just dialed 911. I think my life may flash before my eyes.
A!!!!!!!!!! Save me!!!!!!!! Wait. I need to remain calm. E is outside. She is already in a precarious state. I had to pick her up early because she just couldnt anymore.
Ok fine.
a……shhh…save me…..
She answered! She tries walking me thru how to remove a tick on the phone. She mentioned something about a credit card.
And then I think I heard her say something about putting a flame to it and then it will wriggle out but make sure to count to 5.
At this point, I probably could have sweated it out.
Wait, wriggle? As in, it should theoretically be alive when you try taking it out?
As in….it needs to be whole and not in half?
Do I tell her? No….yes!
A!!!!! I lost all control of logic and tried yanking a tick that decided my body would make a warm comfy home.
And….and…and….its missing its butt.
A…..are you home?
She said she was, but only had 15 minutes. And then she had to get groceries and then pick up the kids.
15 minutes! Sure!
Remain calm. Breathe. Just kidding. E!!!! WE ARE LEAVING NOW! GET IN THE CAR!
Why mama?
Everything is ok….shhhh….we are just leaving. NOW!
We are going to see A.
Why mama?
Remain calm. Ignore the little bug that has half its body inside of your stomach with little legs dangling in the very tight space between shirt and skin.
Nothing out of the ordinary here. We are definitely not going to a friends house where they will perform minor wilderness survival surgery on me. Nope.
Not at all.
Because E. Just because!
Everyone needs a friend like A. She will have your front, er rather your back.
She had the tweezers and the washcloth and hydrogen peroxide going. She earned her bushwhacking/backcountry survival badge today.
Digging a tick out of someone else, while getting them to stay calm…..was the last item she needed to complete.
Oh. That’s not a badge? It should be!
Finally it was removed.
Pretty sure an hour passed. I hope she got her groceries.
Hey A! Did you get your groceries?
I learned more this afternoon than I ever could by reading and studying and doing random research.
I always knew I was a hands on learner.
I of course let my good buddy R know. And like the best friend he is….this is the conversation we had…
It should be noted that A, R, and I all met thru scouts.
Find your tribe.
I have finally found mine. Including J and his wife R. And T too!
And I am glad that I can count on them as I take more little steps to reaching my summit.
And I can count on them to remind me I am not gonna die.
Because I also went straight to Dr. Google in the middle of loosing all consciousness.
Next time….I need to remember to check myself before I wreck myself…. after leaving the backcountry.
