Part 2: My Perspective – The Middle – Finding Anchors in the Storm

Part 2: My Perspective– The Middle

We started having a great relationship. We would always talk and laugh. They were the first people I went to when I needed a good cry. Or when I needed to share something I hadn’t confided to anyone else besides my husband.

They were with us as we discovered Thing 2 had sensory processing disorder. They reminded me I was doing a great job. When we were going thru the foster care process, we wanted them to be one of our recommendations. We trusted them. They supported us. At least we thought we were supported.

I know this sounds a little petty. They are just a business. But they meant a little more to me than just another place we send our kids to.

They helped give us ideas on how to help our children overcome bullying issues or anxiety issues or OCD issues. They helped come up with consequences and always supported us in our parenting.

They were right there with us. They even prayed for us when we were going thru rough times, or a medical emergency. It truly seemed like they cared. Like we were part of the family.

(Side note: I just had an epiphany and realized that this is one of the reasons I am such a homebody and do not have many friends, or seek friends. Because you always get hurt. Always. And somehow – I am the only common denominator – so my brain tells me that I am the reason and that I do not deserve long-term relationships with anybody……)

End of tangent. Everything I posted on Facebook, they would comment on or ask to share as an ad. They begged me to write reviews for them. And they would beg every day until I finally got a chance to do it (busy life). They knew all about our struggles with Thing 2 – all of her triggers and meltdowns and successes. They would like my posts. Commented. They loved my photography.

I referred everyone I knew to this dojang. I raved about them and how amazing they are, or were. I trusted the life of my kids, with them. I wrote many, many posts about how grateful I was for them and how much of a positive impact they made on all of our lives.

We had open and honest discussions. We laughed. We cried. We laughed until we cried.

We had some issues paying exactly on time. But we always paid within 30 days. We never asked for a break. But we were late. The husband quit his job and our income shriveled. But Thing 1 was thriving there so we were going to do whatever it took to keep her there. I take full responsibility for our financial issues and I do thank them for hanging on with us. It took a little longer to get back on track. But we finally achieved it.

And then it was time for Thing 2 to join in September 2017.

And what we didn’t know, was that that was the beginning of the end.

Now, Thing 2 has super powers and it takes some finessing and preparation in learning how to handle her powers. But…once you figure it out, it is pretty simple. Since we were going on year 2 there, they knew all about Thing 2 and her powers.

Before we even started, we discussed the possibility that it may not work out. From Sept to Dec, things seemed to be moving smoothly. Both kiddos were pretty happy. Thing 2 had occasional toileting accidents. But nothing too insane.

And then the school year resumed in Jan 2018 and the world as we knew it, started to crumble.

Thing 2’s behavior was worsening and her toileting accidents were getting worse. Not just at home. But also at school and the dojang.

Mid February, Thing 2 came down with what we call the marathon fever. She did not return to her normal routine for about 2 weeks.

Which brings us to March. At which point, Thing 2’s anger and outbursts were intense. So intense that I started getting PTSD. Had to call 911 to have someone come help me find my child that ran off. Locked myself (accidentally) in the backseat of the car as my child was literally beating me. The list continued. We almost pulled our child out of kinder. That was how bad it had gotten.

Over the next couple of months, we had a couple sit down meetings with Master X. Just me and her, or just me, Thing 2, and her. We game planned. We came up with strategies. We were constantly texting to check in and update the masters about Thing 2’s progress. They were just as excited when goals were reached.

Things were not progressing as quickly or as smoothly as we would have liked. So we mutually decided that maybe Thing 2 just needs a break. So mutually, we decided to part ways. Temporarily.

But it was temporary. At least that is what we discussed. It was going to be a temporary break until we addressed and resolved the anger and toileting issues with Thing 2. If she got those 2 issues resolved, then we would discuss how we would reintegrate her back in to the dojang.