2B Day 6: Eh….It could have been worse…

Day 6 – 299.2 lbs (Total Loss: 4.8lbs)

This whole week, I have been preparing for this day. It was going to be an insane day of back to back obligations. With just minutes to spare in between each event. Since I am the planner of the family, and since Thing 2 has to have a routine, or every moment of the day pre-planned and discussed (if not – meltdown will ensue in 3, 2, 1) – I have since become OCD about routines and schedules.

So mentally, this day has been pre-planned and prepared for weeks. We had to get up no later than 7A; get ready; get in the car by 745A; drive to the beach; walk through the car show; eat lunch; get back in the car no later than 1P; arrive to cheerleader uniform fitting no later than 245P.

And then the rest of the day would be free time. Phew.

But then, I woke myself up at 745A. I was in a deep state of panic. I ran to the kids room – woke them up. I ran downstairs to make sure the SuperHusband took care of the dogs. I ran to get all the beach stuff together (I didn’t do it last night – because Kitties). I was stressed. Uber stressed. This is going to throw off our entire schedule. Shit. Panic sets in. Sweat drops begin to form.

And then I step on the scale. And I am under 300lbs. And all that stress that was erupting – quietly faded. Because I haven’t seen a number like that in a long time. A REALLY long time.

I was hoping that high would last all day. It sorta kinda did. First crazy Steele family weekend with my new lifestyle. I have a lot to learn.

What I did not prepare for – was mentally how exhausted I would be. So I didn’t even factor in to my day how exhausting making the right food choices would be. Especially when we are go go go. Well, we are always go go go. We do not know how to go slow. So by the end of the day – I just wanted to eat all the food. I didn’t want to make any more decisions. My brain and body were exhausted.

So how could it have been worse? For lunch – I had a big salad topped with bay shrimp, one bite to taste of garlic bread, and a few spoonfuls of clam chowder. It could have been worse. Any other past day at the beach, we would eat at a restaurant and I would get a huge platter of deep fried fish and chips, or a large hamburger. So Lunch was a win.

But then, came the elephant ears. When we are in Seaside, it is our family tradition to always get an elephant ear. We all get one. And going out there – I told SuperHusband that I did not want one. And I was pretty adamant. I thought I would be able to stay strong. But my husband said he would share one with me. I softened a little. And then came the moment. And I was hot and sweaty and tired. So I caved.

Ok….let the guilt go. I don’t need it to ruin my day. At least I didn’t eat the whole thing like usual!

And finally, dinner. I already planned this weekend out as to what meals we would be making. But I forgot that part of my family was headed to Reno bright and early Father’s Day, so we had to celebrate Father’s Day a day early. And when we do a home cooked “celebratory” or “holiday” meal – for some reason we go ALL OUT. And by ALL OUT – I mean we make enough food to feed a football team. And so we did just that. Grilled potatoes, BBQ Chicken, Corn on the Cob, Rice, Salad, Bread. The whole shabang!

And by this point in my day – because I cooked about 75% of the meal – I was toast. I was completely gone. I ate my big salad first. And then I ate my BBQ chicken. Yay! I plated it! But then, this is where things went downhill – I couldn’t stop myself. I was so tired. It was late. So I had a spoonful (or 2) of every single thing on the table.

And I was stuffed. Ugh. I didn’t feel as guilty as I would have in the past. But I still feel like I failed myself a little. I did SO GOOD for the past 5 days. But what has happened, has happened. I must LET IT GO.

What I Learned: I learned that we do insane busy chaos. And it is one thing to plan, but it is another to follow thru. Especially when all you want to do is to take a nap. I definitely need to have easy (EASY) to make meals on these weekends. Otherwise – I am setting myself up for failure.

Mood: I AM UNDER 300LBS!!!!!!!!!! No Way!!!! The stress seems so trivial when you shift your mindset 2B positive.

Today’s Anchor: Guilt can be a huge puddle of quick sand that swallows us whole. But by changing our mindset – we can learn how to take control of that guilt. Our mindset will be the anchor in the storm.

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