Finding Anchors in the Storm

Day 5 – 301 lbs (Total Loss: 3lbs)

Today was just actually a pretty laxidasical blah day. Nothing too exciting. Besides the last day of school! I am in this weird mood where I am not overly excited and happy but I am not depressed and blue. I am just…blah. I do know that I am glad it is Friday.

I went to work way too early. Like usual. Put on my smile and worked as hard as I could so I could leave early and go pick up my kiddos because it was the last day of school. I worked extra hard so I didn’t feel as guilty leaving my co-workers.

During my brunchtime walk – I didn’t have a set mission in mind. As I started walking – the sprinklers turned on. Apparently the universe thought I needed an extra shower. And this was pre-sweat accumulation! So onwards I continued. Putting one foot in front of the other. And I felt good. I wasn’t in pain. I wasn’t out of breath. It just felt good. And I was sweating.

I walked .92 miles in 20 minutes and I EARNED that sweat! I am PROUD of that sweat! That is the longest on purpose walk I have done in a VERY long time. I could have gone .08 more miles but I had to go potty so bad! Damn increased water intake.

But I will drink as much water as I need to because my clothes are starting to fall off and this feeling is pretty awesome! My wedding ring is actually able to move AROUND my finger! It cannot come off quite yet, but maybe next week!

I am pretty proud of myself. But I did something else today that was pretty awesome. It was the kids’ last day of school. When I was a kiddo – I was always taken out for ice cream. Well our kiddos cannot have ice cream, but they have discovered sherbert recently. So we went to the store and got all the stuff to make sherbert sundaes.

And I had my shake. That chocolate shake really hits the spot and fulfills any potential cravings. So I am able to still participate in this new family tradition. I thought about having one bite to taste – but I knew at this point in the process, it would be a slippery slope. I do not trust myself to have just 1 bite. Sherbert is a weakness. Apparently I have alot of those.

And tonight was our weekly pizza night. The night that all 7 of us come together to discuss how our week went, and what we have planned for the weekend. Usually we have game night right after but we had a stressful end to a long blah day, so movie night it is!

On past pizza nights – I would have at least 2, maybe 3 or 4 slices of pizza. I had planned to pick up a salad while we were getting our pizza but, plans had changed. We ended up adopting 2 kittens. I went for just a new dog collar and name tag….whoops. So instead we got Pizza Schmizza (huge slices) and I ended up cutting 2 slices into 3rds and I stopped at that.

What I Learned: I am so proud of myself. I really am. I have done great this week. It is a lot of hard work to constantly make the right conscious decision. But it is so worth it. But I have proved to myself this week, that I can do it. But, I also cannot wait for this life to become second-nature and “easy”

Mood: I just want things to be easy. Why is making the right healthy choices – so hard?

Today’s Anchor: Constant conscious decisions is tiring, and exhausting, and require a lot of motivation and belief in oneself. But the right ones – will be able to steer our ships and anchor us thru any storm.