My First Transformation

My mom bought me my first camera, a 35mm film Nikon N65, in June of 2000. A special gift for my 13th birthday.

I am coming up on the 18th anniversary of that first shutter click. The first shutter click that transformed my life. A transformation that I could not have predicted. A change so serendipitious, that I had no idea that the first picture I took, would be what drives me today.

I have gone thru waves with my photography. I have taken quite a few rolls of film where all the images were too grainy, too blurry, or not right. I have gone weeks without taking photos. I have let months pass by where I took photos for memories sake…not for the innate pleasure I get from framing a scene just right.

And I have had several moments drift thru my conscious thoughts in which I truly wondered, if any of my photos were good enough.

I yearned for everyone else’s approval. I thought that my photography was not good if no one else enjoyed viewing it. I became crippled in the fear of what others may think.

So I avoided showing anybody else my work. The little devil on my shoulder told me nothing I did, was going to set me apart from the gazillion other photographers.

So I escaped in to my photography. But I only let myself enjoy it.

But today, I took a photo that I have been dying to take. One that I didn’t know if I would ever have the talent to make.

This photo….18 years after my first life altering picture, this photo has transformed my soul again.


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