Hey hey hey….I just discovered Reason #8 of why having kids is a thrilling adventure:
Let me set the scene. I’ve been up 18hrs. I finally corralled the kids up to their bed 1hr past their bedtime. I quickly read the kids their bedtime book. Sluggishly put 1 foot in front of the other as I leave their room. My mouth begins to water as I near the bed.
But my armpits stink. So I begrudgingly take a shower. Quickly. As the remaining hot water from Lil’ Miss’ 45 min long shower is disappearing at epic speeds.
Soap stings my half open eye. I reach for a towel to wipe away the soap. The soap pools.
Me: *shouting loudly* Lil’ Miss!!!!!!!! *repeat x8 *I know she can hear me. And I know she is awake*
Her: *calmly* yes mama?
Me: please run downstairs and get me some towels. Quickly! *emphasis on quickly*
Her: ok mama
Me: *patiently waiting. Eyes stinging. Might as well brush my teeth*
Mr. Man: *pops out of the room* why did you want her?
Me: *done brushing my teeth* I need towels
Also me: *suddenly get a lump in my throat as I instantly come to the realization that I just made the kid that has the memory of a baby goldfish, an attention span the size of a centipedes leg, and the focus of a mosquito finding light….the worst possible job*
Me again: *shower. Getting. Cold. Eyes. Stinging. Slow shivering. Life flashes before my eyes*
Right as I thought I was going to turn in to a sour popsicle…she arrived. Phew!
I then spend 5 more mins shooing the kids back to their beds again before I melt into my bed.
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