He Ran Off

I don’t even know how to start this post. I have typed and deleted the opening sentence 4 times. I guess I could start out saying that our life is not all happy family, happy dogs, happy life 24/7. And to say so, would be an injustice. I just like to post about the good, bc the bad…Well I just want to forget about it and move on.

But that is also an injustice. On social media, we like to post our “perfect” selfs bc we want others to not realize just how human we are. Just how real life can get. How terrible or sad our situations are. Maybe we need to do that more. Maybe that is what we are missing in this age of social media and internet relationships. Some realness mixed in.

Living in this world with a kiddo with SPD is hard. For every 1 happy photo I post of him, and us, there are 15 other hard life moments. And today, was a hard moment.

Day 3 of intermittent fevers. Mr. Man had an appointment at 2pm (scheduled for other reasons 3 weeks ago). I prepared him. I went over today’s timeline a few times. But that didn’t help. He went into meltdown mode.

After coaxing him out of the car, he bolted. For 20 mins, I could barely keep an eye on him as he went around the block 2x and even hid in someone’s backyard. The whole time, he was screaming at the top of his lungs “leave me alone!”

And then…I lost sight of him. I failed as a mother and I couldn’t keep up with him. I am obese and out of shape. I lost him. I had to call 911.

Finally, as the 911 operator got my info, I turned back to my car and I saw the top of his head move a tiny bit. (I lock my car 99.9% of the time so I thought it was locked and didn’t check there in my state of panic).

So I get in the car. And I cry. And I bawl. And I tell my son thru the sobs, that I love him. That i cannot lose him. And he starts to cry. But he is still in meltdown so it takes another 5 mins to coax him into getting him buckled.

And then we drive the longest 8 blocks home. Crying. Together.

Never did see the Dr. He still has a fever. But he is back to his normal cute self…with an added momma holding him tight.


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