I really did not mean to take a hiatus from my new precious blog. But life. The blog has been on my mind the past few weeks. So many stories. Stories of happiness. Of sadness. Of joy and pain. Stories full of adventure.
Life didn’t stop. It kept going. Spinning. Faster than I could keep up.
So some things, some rituals, some routines, just had to go to make space for the vertigo. For all the extracurricular apps that we have been encountering.
And one of those “things”, was me. My soul. My body. My being. Gone. To clear RAM. So that the rest of me can run faster. But not faster for myself. Quicker, more efficient, for my children.
But something was forgotten. Something went wrong in the CPU. Miscellaneous apps were removed in the RAM cleansing. But it turned out that those apps, were not, in fact, miscellaneous. Those apps turned out to be what was keeping this vessel, me, the mother, from running efficiently and effectively in an appropriate manner.
I ended up with a virus. Too many things piled on at once; a mulitide of tasks received and downloaded from unknown scary sources. This virus was making me moody, and slow. I was so focused on making sure the children and the household ran smoothly…that they all had their anchors.
That I lost sight of my anchor.
I could no longer process who, or what, was my anchor. After many storms weakned the links between my anchor and my center, I drifted so far away that the anchors I had created for my children, our household, our lives, began to weaken and are beginning to unravel.
So, I gathered my supplies. I found the first link, the link that will begin the new chain that will reconnect me to my anchor.
And that link….involves remembering to take time for myself. 15 minutes. A day. Relaxing in a longer shower. Taking the scenic route home. Reading a book. Be one with nature. Netflix…and netflix. Watching paint dry. Writing….writing.
15 minutes. A day.
15 minutes of not doing laundry, the dishes, chores. Not attending to children or to work. 15 minutes purely for myself. When the kids are at school, or after they go to bed. 15 minutes. Not of fame. But of freedom. Freedom my never ending responsbilities. From the constant beautiful chaos that is my life.
My 15 minutes? I will write. It is technically for myself. Getting out of my brain, allowing me to build more steam, gather more supplies, to find the next link of my chain. Bringing me closer to my anchor. Thus strengthening all the anchors that I am linked to.
Now, off to find where to fit those 15 minutes in!